Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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