I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
