It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
