The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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