I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I love you. Go after that dick
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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