We won't sleep together?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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