playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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