i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
