guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize