Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
