I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
