do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
