the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
