I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
