She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
