thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
