Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
