one might say we're banned from that church
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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