and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
