I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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