Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
