Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
false alarm, still single
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
