is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
