Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish you could order shots online.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
