So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
