watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
