But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My liver just had a heart attack.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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