I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize