if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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