We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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