If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize