every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
