i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
