Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize