I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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