i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
