He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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