So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
