Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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