This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize