Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
