Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
