I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
