She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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