4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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