i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
