This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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