is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have post one night stand depression
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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