my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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