I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
