I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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