May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
