everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
