My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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