i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
