you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
