Me too!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
