Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
