i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
