I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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