just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
