I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
