k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
