Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
