well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
