Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
