I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
