Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
