Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
