I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
