he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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