Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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