"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
