You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
