can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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