Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
